Thursday, May 04, 2006

Mine! All mine!

So we had the power company on our property.

The cut (right-of-way or easement) runs right along our left hand property line - on our side. They've had huge trucks with bucket arms, the Turbo Chipper and it's accompanying truck into which it spits the remains, and that cool thingy with the strange spiked scoop on the front that is hinged in the middle (v. v. cool!)
Well, I do as I always do with county, state, and federal types, I am ultra polite, friendly, really earth-mother-crossed-with-aunt-Bea sort of thing. You catch more flies with honey, and all.

So it occurred to me, about mid morning, that while most of the trees being cut were pines, a good few were hardwoods (this crossed my brain as I watched some little twit-worker-ant chainsaw down my pecan tree that I'd been nursing for 3 years which was nowhere NEAR the cut)

I pulled on my wellies, told the kids I'd be right back and marched my large self determinedly out there.

Nothing like a vast, frowning, full-bosomed, gumboot-wearing female appearing at your elbow to shake you out of your reverie.

I smiled sweetly and commenced my spiel (note: I never mentioned the pecan tree. It was gone. No use crying over chainsawed wood.) I told them that since they were cutting hardwood that I'd like any branches bigger around than my wrist tossed aside so that I could scavenge them for firewood.

The slightly stunned Twit-Worker-Ant nodded quickly and we were joined by another worker ant Nice-Worker-Ant. I restated my plea, sweetly, and NWA agreed that it would be good for me and make things easier for them - they'd just cut the wood and throw it, not having to mess with it again.

Then Crabby Old Boss Worker Ant arrived.

"We can't do that", he huffed.
"Why not?" I asked, and this convo ensued:

Crabby Old Boss Worker Ant: "We have to remove all the wood..."

Me: "... from the right-of-way."

COBWA: "We have to put it on the trucks or chip it ..."

Me: " ... normally. I'm trying to save you some work. Just leave it to the side."

COBWA: (inflating himself) "Can't do that. This wood belongs to the [name of power company]."

Me: (dangerously) "Excuse me? This wood is mine that you're cutting."

COBWA: "Lady, this cut belongs to the [name of power company] and these trees ..."

Me: "... are mine. This is MY land, sir, and the trees on it! The [name of power company] has a right-of-way through MY land, they don't own the land. They simply have the right to come this way to maintain the power lines!"

His mouth opened and closed a few times, then he gave the two worker ants an exaggerated Jeez-women-these-days shrug and eyeroll and stomped off.

The next day I went down the cut and Nice Worker Ant had carefully piled up the wood, cut into about six foot lengths, in batches all down the side of the right-of-way.

Wasn' t that sweet?


At 6:55 PM, Blogger Oak Spring farm said...

I laughed out loud at that story and the worker ant thing why didn't I think of that it is so right on :)



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